The Wall

I've hit the wall. The last 162 days have gone really well. I really don't feel like I've said to myself "deployment really freaking sucks" (ok, maybe when Eli was saying John was dead was a little hard) but today it happened. 

I hit the wall. 

I'm exhausted, done, and over this one. As a parent, you're expected to take a certain number of tantrums, "I don't like this" and those days when your children doubt themselves. I can't take any more of them. 

I have two races coming up before he comes home and I'm really, seriously, thinking about just quitting. Quitting it all and just doing the necessary until my birthday. 

I'm that tired. 

The First Few Weeks of School

So far, we've started the new school year strong. Honestly, I wasn't sure how things were going to go during deployment. The kids were ready for routine and I was ready to get started to we could have 6 weeks under our belt before we took a week of vacation to relax with John. 

My big 1st grader! 

Preschooler doing more Kindergarten work, but at his
own pace.

Teeny tiny tot school graduate, moving on to Tot School. 

Turner is doing very well and finally actually ready to write. We are using Handwriting Without Tears in addition to writing notes and letters to people. He still works on fine motor skills by participating in anything Eli does for PK work. 

Working out of his Handwriting Without Tears book.

Eli is MUCH more willing to sit and work on things that aren't just manipulatives, or toys/blocks. He's taken a huge interest in learning his letter sounds and really would rather learn to write the letters. 

Stamping the letter C.

Diligently working away at his Tot School work. 

They boys have inherited John's love of history so I decided to go with The Story of the World and the activity book. The boys have enjoyed everything so far! 

Learning a bit about archaeology with a fake dig. 

Eli loves his crafts! 

SOTW coloring sheet. Do you know what a shaduf is?!? I didn't! 

Montessori inspired Tot work.

Just making cave paintings on a rainy morning!

We took a trip to DC (that totally counts as school work!)

Eli asked to do some handwriting like Brother. 

Deacon has been obsessed with lining up cars so this was the
perfect 10 minute distraction. 

Separating capital and lower case letters.

No day is complete without a little technology! 

These our our basics for now (I don't have any pictures of Turner with his Miquon Math and the accompanying rods. He will start Math in Focus or Singapore Math around November). We will incorporate our co-op, science (R.E.A.L. Science Odyssey) and a few other things at the end of September. I wasn't in a hurry to start all at once: I wanted guaranteed success for a few weeks!

The Lamest Excuse(s)

A few months back, I started having trouble uploading pictures here, facebook and snapfish. It was more annoying than anything, but I stopped uploading everything! Totally lame and I feel terrible for my sweet husband whom I promised I'd keep updated while he was deployed.

After two months or so of trying to figure it all out, I finally fixed it with a simple drag and drop. Mac is sometimes SO simple, I over look the obvious!

 Training for a triathlon and various other races really kicked my butt, too! Not to mention the homeschooling and general child-rearing. I'd throw house cleaning on the list, but I hired someone to come help me out weekly and it's been life changing (hello, keeping up with laundry since someone else mopped the floors!).

Enough excuses in one post!

We are well and three weeks in to school now. I can't believe it's been three consistent weeks with an almost 6, 4 and 2 year old. Last year it was so hard to do much of anything since Deacon needed to nurse and Eli wasn't interested in much aside from gross motor skills games.

I think from now on, I'll post a bit about school here instead of on a separate blog - maybe I will be able to keep up with both while doing all those other things in life.

Me & My Gang

Happy Birthday, Eli!

I am a few weeks late here, but...

HAPPY FOURTH BIRTHDAY, ELIAS! 

From the day you were born, you wanted to be seen and heard! You were a total shock to the system and you constantly push me to be a better, gentler, more calm mother (because if we all lived in your world...). I know, without a doubt, that without you I'd never know what it was like to be pushed to the brink -but for the better! 

One day you are going to be an AMAZING leader (like your father!) and teach people that they can push past boundaries and dig deep. 

Your charisma and charm are going to win people over left and right as you grow and I can only pray I'm giving you the tools you need to put that to GOOD use! 

Two days old. Newport, RI. 

3 months old. Somewhere in Maine. 

One year. Jacksonville, FL.

My almost two year old. Atlantic Beach,  FL. 

I think it's hilarious that he still makes this face!

My almost three year old! Chesapeake, VA. 

No childhood is complete without a broken bone. Eli's motto in life:
Go big or go home!

Last day of THREE. Three years, three duty stations...

You have a heart of gold, my son. You are fierce, loyal, intense, imaginative and loving. I cannot imagine the world with out an Elias Jonathan Baggett! 

In The Hamster Wheel of Life

...I am the hamster and my kids are the wheel...

I have several posts waiting to be uploaded but I've just been so tired lately! I can't seem to get everything done and it's wearing me out. 

To Da Beach!

Monday was absolutely gorgeous, so the boys and I made it a beach day. It was our favorite homeschool lesson of the week: how to absorb vitamin D! 

This was also (probably) our last visit to a favorite spot for the busy season. I like to avoid the crowds and use the bases around here for beach access. 

Brudders

Sandy baby toes! 

Deacon enjoyed a few snacks while watching Turner and Eli play like goons in the freezing ocean! 

Digging for sand fleas! Eli did the digging and Turner did the creature capturing.

CHHHHEEEESE.

Putting out a fire.

Fun times digging up things in the sand!

Add caption

We had so much fun I can tell this is going to be a good year for us at the beach! Last year Deacon was just crawling around so he was face-first in the sand and eating a lot of it. The big boys respect the water now that they are swimming(ish) and Deacon has enough fear that he doesn't dart right for it. I'm hopeful for many beach days this season! 

Coping Mechanisms

Eli has been talking about his Grandpa for about six months now. He used to say things like "My Grandpa lives in New York City and is a police officer who helps people." (Side note, John's dad is deceased and was and New Jersey police officer...weird, but true. We rarely bring him up but Eli is sure of his Grandpa). 

In the last week he's been talking about his Grand"fadder" non-stop. He won't talk about his dad. Not even to say he misses daddy and he's excited to do this or that upon seeing him again. Nothing. It's all about his Grandpa. Every single memory. 

There is a tear in his eye (your right). He was crying before I asked him to smile. 

At first I was keeping it to myself. What man wants to hear his child won't talk about him? I know not my husband: that's a hard pill to swallow! Today, though, I blurted it out in a Face Time session (skype for iPhone). It sucks dealing with that by yourself so I told John. I immediately felt bad because I know I'd just die inside if I knew something like that. 

It's just Eli's way of coping. He just doesn't understand time or space. All he knows is that his dad is gone: for how long doesn't matter. Here or GONE is all he gets and this is how he's dealing. 

Last time he was confused, too. He used to ask any man if the person was his dad. He'd try to rough house with any male figure and didn't seem to realize the depth of John's return. 

In addition to the non-stop talk about his Grandpa, Eli recently started refusing naps. Not only is his world up-side down, but he's transitioning form a toddler to a preschooler. He is just all out of sorts! Poor kid. 

If that wasn't enough, I found Turner whimpering under my blanket tonight. He was crying his eyes out. I tried to console him but all he could squeak out, swimming in an XL "daddy shirt" was that when he closed his eyes all he could see was his dad. He then told me it made him so sad he could hardly stand it. I tried to get him to think of other things -like what we would do as a family when daddy gets home- but all he could do was cry. 

I practically rocked my five year old to sleep.