...or girl. Yep. I'm pregnant. OMG. WTF?
I'm taking a deep breath and just trying not to have another panic attack, but it's the truth. I'm about 7 weeks now. I'll go and see the midwife December 11th for my first appointment.
Right now I'm nervous, ambivalent, annoyed, hopeful, doubtful, scared and stunned. I mean, obviously, I know HOW it happened but it doesn't lessen the shock value. The reason I am all of the aforementioned feelings: John is leaving for deployment not to return until the week the baby is due in July. After that, we will be moving to our next duty station in August where Turner will start preschool.
I can't believe all of that is going to happen in the summer of 2010. I'm scared the boys will react adversely, Turner will hate all the associations, Eli will become even crazier and a third child will never get much but dragged around. I have two hands and am, at most, a married single mother. I can't believe I'm going to have to explain where daddy is to three little faces.
As much as I want to cry and sleep, I can't. I have a job to do and I intend on doing it well. While John is gone, the boys and I are going to make the most of the time we have together and I'm going to do everything in my power to be so organized (muah hahahaha) that we have a smooth transition from a family of four to a family of FIVE.