I had an "ah-ha," an epiphany, a revelation. I have arrived. I've learned the ultimate: inner peace among chaos! Finally.
John's grandparents have been here since Sunday afternoon. John's been at work from early 'til late. Turner has been excited and 2 1/2. Eli has been his usual charming but "passionate" self. Did I mention I'm here alone with 4 kids? Fay and Lola, though sweet and endearing, are like an extra set of toddlers. A million questions. "Can you make lunch? What's for breakfast? Is there coffee? After this car, can you go? Better hurry before the light turns.' A million requests over and over again. All in the most annoying (sorry babe) loud New Jersey accent.
It all came to a head today when I was trying to get dinner together in early in the afternoon. Eli had skipped his early morning nap (because Lola decided that, right when Ollie fell asleep, she would ask if he was sleeping...loudly), was super clingy and whiny and an eating machine. Turner was having melt down after melt down, wouldn't let me change his diaper and refused to put clothes on. Lola was sitting in front of the TV and hoarding "the buttons" and Fay was his usual adorable clueless self. Lola decided to come hang out in the kitchen. (My pet peeve.) The kitchen was a wreck because I couldn't seem to get anything done. Turner threw himself on the floor, Lola was standing in my way and Ollie just lost it. I was elbow deep in a raw chicken. Lola was blah blah blahing about how she freezes everything from deli meat to previously frozen turkies *gag.*All at once, everyone started questioning me about one thing or another and finally, it...happened...
I got to the place I've been searching for. The quiet among the chaos. The "I don't give a shit what your problem is, I'm here in my Mommy G Spot -don't bother me!" I did it. It was so movie-like. The screaming, the annoying outlaws, the babies, the mess, the oven beeping, the phone ringing. I was in a teeny tiny euphoric utopia. I just answered pleasantly the questions but was so disconnected. I didn't freak out. I just let it roll. I'm better for it. If I would have said what was on my mind many feelings would have been hurt. Turner would have been in a completely un-necessary time out and Ollie, well, he'd still just be sitting there stuffing himself with crackers.